Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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