I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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