We named our party play list daddy issues
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
