I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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