with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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