Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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