the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
