just tell him i said nine months
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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