Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
