I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
be right there i have to get my cape
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
