you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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