evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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