my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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