the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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