his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
