I didn't shave. On purpose
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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