How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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