i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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