the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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