New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
