Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
