it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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