Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
