Christians are straight up FREAKS
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
