dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
