I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
