Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
