Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
