flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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