Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize