if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize