i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
