ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
