My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize