If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
