she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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