You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
