I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize