remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
