help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
