I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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