butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
