his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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