we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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