margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
