I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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