He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
