help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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