Where is the hickey?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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