Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
