a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
