Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
