For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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