i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
