I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize