Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
