come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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