sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
